Love Shouldn’t Hurt: Leaving a Toxic Relationship Might Save Your Life
Let’s get real—too many women are losing their lives in the name of love. Staying in an abusive relationship isn’t just painful; it’s dangerous. If you’ve been feeling like something isn’t right, trust that instinct. You don’t have to wait until it gets worse. You don’t have to wait for another apology, another excuse, or another promise that things will change. Because the truth is, if they really wanted to change, they already would have.
Your home should be your safe place, not a war zone. If you're constantly walking on eggshells, afraid of setting them off, that’s not love—it’s control. And you deserve so much better. This guide is here to help you recognize the signs, make a plan, and take back your life.
Know the Signs Before It’s Too Late
Abuse doesn’t always start with a slap or a punch. Sometimes, it’s slow—so subtle that you don’t even realize you’re being broken down piece by piece. It comes in different forms:
🛑 Physical Abuse – Hitting, choking, pushing, or any type of violence.
💔 Emotional Abuse – Constant criticism, humiliation, guilt-tripping, or making you feel like you’re never enough.
🧠 Psychological Abuse – Gaslighting, controlling who you talk to, where you go, and what you do.
💰 Financial Abuse – Taking control of your money, sabotaging your job, or making sure you don’t have a way to leave.
If any of this sounds familiar, please hear this: It’s not your fault. You didn’t cause this, and you don’t have to stay. PERIOD!
Making a Plan to Get Out
Leaving isn’t easy. It’s scary. It’s overwhelming. But it’s also necessary. The most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when you’re trying to leave. That’s why planning ahead is key.
Step 1: Find Your People
Tell someone you trust—a friend, a family member, even a coworker. If you feel like you have no one, reach out to a domestic violence hotline. There are people ready to help you.
Step 2: Create a Safety Plan
✔ Know where to go – Have a safe place lined up (a friend’s house, a shelter, or somewhere your abuser won’t find you).
✔ Keep your phone & important numbers handy – Save emergency contacts under a discreet name.
✔ Gather your essentials – Pack a small bag with your ID, money, keys, medication, and anything else important. Keep it somewhere safe or with a trusted friend.
✔ Plan your exit – Timing matters. If you can, leave when they’re at work, asleep, or distracted.
Step 3: Secure Your Future
Open a separate bank account in your name if possible.
Change passwords to your email, phone, and social media.
Block their number. If that’s not possible, consider a burner phone.
Moving Forward: Healing and Rebuilding
Leaving is just the beginning. Healing takes time, but it’s so worth it. Here’s what can help:
💛 Talk to someone – Therapy can help you process what happened and rebuild your confidence.
🤝 Lean on your people – Surround yourself with those who truly care about your well-being.
✨ Prioritize YOU – Whether it’s journaling, taking a walk, or picking up a new hobby, start pouring love back into yourself.
📚 Educate yourself – Learn about red flags, healthy relationships, and boundaries so you never have to go through this again.
You’re Not Alone—Help is Here
I know it feels impossible right now but trust and believe—there’s life after this. A good life. A peaceful life. One where you wake up without fear. One where you can breathe again.
If you or someone you know needs help, reach out:
📞 National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
💻 thehotline.org
No one should have to live in fear. If they loved you, they wouldn’t hurt you. And you are so much stronger than you think. The best time to leave? Right now. The best time to start over? Today. You are not alone, and you deserve better. 💜
Love & Light, 💕
The Self-Love Goddess Chic
